Learning to forgive

Learning to forgive may be good for your health …or so it was reported in the January 2008 issue of Mayo Clinic Women’s HealthSource saying “Holding a grudge appears to affect the cardiovascular and nervous systems”. “Forgiveness is associated with better psychological well-being, greater marital satisfaction, less criminality and better adjustment to bereavement”.
The Church should have some clear message messages to say regarding forgiveness and well being! Uniting Church chaplains can help inform the wider church because of their interactions in prisons, hospitals, schools and aged care facilities bring them constantly into contact with crisis and transition.

In the Lords Prayer we pray forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us. In first Gospel it is written “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

• Acknowledge the pain and anger felt as a result of someone else’s actions. For forgiveness to occur, the situation needs to be looked at honestly.
• Recognize that healing requires change.
• Find a new way to think about the person who caused the pain. What was happening in that person’s life when the hurt occurred? Sometimes, the motivation or causes for the incident have little to do with those most affected. For some people, this step includes saying, “I forgive you.”
• Begin to experience the emotional relief that comes with forgiveness. It may include increased compassion for others who have experienced similar hurt.

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